The Blue Bucket, a Label and a Load of Candy
What comes first, the label or our child?
“Your son has a communication and social disorder” said the peadiatrician five years ago as we sat around a table in the psychologist's office.
“We can leave it as that, or we can give a defined diagnosis” she continued, “I can diagnose your son with Autism Spectrum Disorder?”
I looked at my husband, and without a word we knew what we wanted. We wanted Rhys to have every opportunity possible. We wanted to ensure he got the support he was entitled to and the ability to meet every goal and desire he wanted.
So we took the diagnosis, because whether it was autism or a communication and social disorder, it was the same thing. The only difference was that the single word would give my son the opportunity he needed.
I have refered to his autism many times. In moments where I had to explain his quirks and differences, and in formal settings where we had to use the diagnosis to get support and adaption for his needs.
It has its place. It has its need.
But when a day in the calendar rolls round. A day where normality is given the toss for twenty four hours. A day where witches and monsters can come out of hiding and preculiarties are the norm, I have a view on highlighting my son's differences.
Do I want to single my son out and advertise his autism with a blue bucket, while the rest of the group carry orange?
Should a house deny him sweets and chocolate because he can't ask?
Should my eldest not be allowed to take two sweets and hand one to his younger brother because Rhys is too scared to go close?
On a night where the world goes against every ounce of normality, I say hand out candy to every knock at the door. Cheer at the scariest costume, and smile at the one who is in normal clothes.
There are many reasons for a child to not talk, to not dress up, or to not approach the door with a smile and a chant. They shouldn't have to advertise their reasons. Not at Halloween or any other time.
Accept children and adults for who they are.
And if you can't, lock your door and put a polite sign outside. Because it works both ways. We are happy to leave you in peace. Halloween is scary for many and not something someone wants to take part in. And we need to respect that!
In a world where everyone is different, we shouldn't have to explain to fit in. We should all have the opportunity to be just who we are.
Trick or treat to you all.
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Coming Up Next Week …
The 2nd of November was due to be the BAPS Awards (that’s the Bloody Awesome Parents Blog Awards), and I am a finalist in the “Blog Post with the Biggest Impact” category. Unfortunately, due to rail strikes and the impact from increases in Covid, the event has been postponed. So the 20th of April it is! I am sure I can wait a couple of months.
It's half term in Wales next week, and after a successful summer at Centerparcs a couple of months ago, we are going back again! So look out for updates on water slides and forest walks. The big change this time is that we are all taking our bikes! So there are some big goals to accomplish over the next five days! Make sure you follow A&Me on Facebook and Instagram to get daily updates