A Multitude of Letters
... but which one describes my son?
I was so scared when we started our first diagnosis journey. At the time I didn't know it was that, it was just a few tests to see why Rhys wasn’t talking. I didn't know it was a journey or the pathway to diagnosis.
No one ever mentioned autism. The A word was only mentioned by the Pediatrician towards the end of our assessment, a year after our first referral. “Rhys is displaying traits of autism” were her words. “Traits” I thought, “That doesn't mean actual autism” my mind went on.
I found every reason for Autism to not be the end result. The natural human reaction of denial.
To move from a typical family and parent to a world where a condition would be life long, it was scary, it was beyond scary, it was suffocating. My expectation of our lives was no longer. Our future was a blank page, or rather a black page where the light of what was to happen could not be seen.
I had no clue what it all meant.
Once Rhys' diagnosis was confirmed and the letter that read Autism Spectrum Disorder sat in my hand, I knew it was permanent. This was our lives. But I didn't know what that meant for us. What it meant for my son.
But we are getting there. It has taken years for me to understand my new parenting journey. And for Rhys, well he has always been who he was meant to be.
As we now venture on a new journey. The journey down an ADHD diagnosis, I am ok with it. We are already part of the additional needs community, I have my tribe and I have the support.
I have always wanted to help Rhys in every way I can. His challenges can be mitigated with support and tools, and the more I know about Rhys' challenges, the more I can work at helping him cope in this scary world.
So if you are just starting on your diagnosis journey, it is ok to be scared. It is ok to take time to accept the change of what you hoped your life would have been. It is ok if that time to accept the new version of your life takes years.
It took me years.
But every day, every month, every moment is a step forward. A step towards accepting my son for who he is.
It is ok to admit that.
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Video of the Week
View the first of the videos in the A&Me Diagnosis Series - Autism Signs.
Popular Posts of the Week
Facebook: I felt I should have acted sooner. The mum guilt set in. Read post here.
Instagram: It is lovely to watch Rhys in his world. Check out post here.
Coming up Next Week
I will continue to share our story across all the social media channels. It is a long wait for the outcome, or even until the first discussions about something like ADHD. Also who is to know if that will be the outcome. I have all the same feelings every other parent feels.
Follow our journey as we see what happens.