Inclusion is not just one week a year ...

... it must be every week, every day, every minute.

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Ten months ago I received a letter from my son's school for a trip away for three days and two nights! I read it three times and knew it couldn't be possible, for so many reasons.

My son is autistic with complex needs. He only eats pizza and jammy toast, with just a few other items in his diet. He won't eat anything if he is “hungry enough” the unfamiliarity means it just won't happen, his brain won't let him.

He still wears pull-ups at nine years old, his body not ready to know not to “go” when he is in his slumbers.

My son's speech is minimal. He can talk to ask for something, but cannot hold a conversation.

He gets scared of new surroundings, and has never been away from us for a night, with the exception of his Granny and Grandpa.

I looked at that letter once more, then I messaged his teacher: I got the letter for the trip, thanks but I don't know how it would work!

A message came back immediately: It works when you tick yes on the form and send in the deposit to secure his place and then we can work out the logistics.

So I sent the permission slip back and believed I was throwing away fifty quid.

A few months later, I had paid the remaining balance, and after a couple of meetings with the school, I sent Rhys off with a suitcase of clothes and an extra bag of food.

He was going!

We had addressed every concern I had, the food challenges, the sleeping arrangements, the 121 support, the exchange of phone numbers so we could be in contact the whole time. I had presented all my questions and concerns.

The school adapted to ensure it would work.

And it worked. It was the most amazing experience I could ever had imagined.

Next week he is off again, the same adaptions have been put in place. My son with his quirks and complexities is off for three days and two nights alongside his peers and the rest of the mainstream year. This is how inclusion should work. It should work via adaption.

I am so grateful for my son's school. They believe every child should be included. They make sure it is a possibility. But unfortunately this is not the norm.

When I shared our story via social media, I was heart broken by the messages and replies. I heard stories of parents who had been told their children couldn't go on trips - the support wasn't available, or the child's needs were too complex! Their children were denied the experience, they were excluded and the schools didn't see a problem with their actions. There were stories of how the parents said they would go on the trip to support their child, and were declined for insurance reasons or some other excuse.

Schools that were too lazy to adapt!

No one should be excluded. It doesn't take much to make it possible. My son has complex needs and his school had not one reason for him not to go, they even went out of their way to mitigate my worries so he would not loose out.

We need to change this. We need all schools to think differently I want everyone to think differently. I want them all to know it is possible and to stop thinking it is just to hard.

Let me know your stories, share your experiences and together we can make a difference.

Comment below or email me (contact@aandme.co.uk) your stories, I know we can change the norm, we can make a difference.